JWs and other stuff...........

Most people know that I was raised in a family of Jehovah's Witnesses. And, for the ones who don't I will tell you a bit about how it feels to be raised as a JW....or, you could read my page. http://cocatica.tripod.com/. There is a lot there, but there is also a lot that I can't describe in a way that you would understand. For instance, the fear. Fear is such a mild sounding word for what it actually felt like.

The underlying theme of my early life was fear. Fear of death....fear of my mother (still working on that one)....fear of just about everything. But, there was no adult to go to because if I had asked, then things would have to be acknowledged. And, that was just not done in my family.
My homelife was chaotic. It could go from people sitting around talking to out and out rage with screaming and fighting in a heart beat.

I grew up having to be aware of what was going on around me....in a weird way. I remember living in fantasies, but at the same time I knew when to get out of the way. I also thought I could fly. I have clear 'memories' of standing on the front stoop and staring out at the other kids while I slowly floated up till I could touch the ceiling. I could feel the rough wood. I know now that something else was going on....that I was remembering when someone picked me up and held me over their heads. And, then when I needed it, I could imagine myself floating up......but not quite away. At home too we had to hide what we really felt or suffer punishment or ridicule. What would so-in-so say was my family motto.

Then, there was the Kingdom Hall. We sat with the adults and heard everything they heard. However, we could not show fear. I learned early on to keep a blank face......blank affect.....so no one could see what was raging inside of me. I spent many days and nights sitting on the hard wooden chairs looking at the pictures of people running in terror from earthquakes and other major natural disasters. All the unsaved.....non-JWs.....who waited too late to come into the 'Truth'.

So, at both places where we are supposed to feel safe…….home and with Christian friends….I had to pretend that everything was just peachy. I could not ask Jehovah for help…..that never entered my mind. And, turning to Jesus was not an option. Someone said once that for a JW, asking Jesus for comfort, salvation, whatever, would be like asking Moses for those things. Jesus was only important because He took away Adam’s sin…not our personal sin. As for the Holy Spirit, how can an ‘active force’ give comfort. The WTB&TS makes it clear in many, sometimes subtle ways, that we should turn to them, not God. Not Jesus. But, was I good enough? How dare I presume to go to Jehovah with such petty things.

This is why now I try to give support to others who have been affected in any way by being members of the JWs. And, I try to warn people about the JWs. I tell people what the JWs believe, things JWs will not tell you when they come to your door. Or for that matter, they will not tell you these things sometimes until after you are baptized. And, then they might not.

For instance. JWs teach that Jesus is Michael the archangel. They also teach that He is Abaddon, from Rev 9. A lot of active JWs I talk with do not know this, or if they do, they deny it. I talked with one on Paltalk a couple of years ago. He lived in England and was married to a JW, he was studying. He had been putting off being baptized because the org disapproved of some of the things he liked to do for relaxation. Things like chess and sport fishing. He had already stopped competing in some tournaments. I asked him about Jesus being Abaddon and he was shocked. He denied it completely and got pretty mad at me for saying it. He accused me of lying. I told him to ask either his wife or an elder. He told me that if JWs did indeed believe this, he would not be baptized. All well and good, right? Wrong. The next time I talked to him he told me that he had talked with a elder at his KH and, yes, JWs do indeed believe this. Then he said that not only did he also believe it, but it was something he had known all along, but had forgotten. Sad. He eventually stopped coming to Paltalk and we lost touch. But, this happens a lot. One night a JW was almost crying with indignity at me saying that. He denied it up and down......till he looked at the literature I had given as proof. He did not have anything to say.

So, if a JW asks you if you would like a home bible study........which is not really a bible study, they study the JW literature.........tell them NO! Unless you want to start believing the things they believe about Jesus Christ. If you do, then the org is the place for you.